My TV

14 01 2006

Yay! Celebrate the return of my weekly/monthly/whenever I feel like it TV column! I’m not even going to disguise the fact that this is just a scam to allow me to put “internet columnist” on my CV, and go for a job at “zoo” magazine. (I’m lying, I read nuts. I don’t know, I just find it more…. ballsy).

I’m going to start by saying this column will have (gasp) spoilers and I can’t hide them behind invisi-text. So look away now if you don’t want to know who killed Eddie Royle outside the Queen vic!! I’m kidding again, I haven’t watched that crap since 1997.


I’ll start off by pointing out this little article about the worldwide success of Lost, even though it has a few inaccuracies. Its cool that they mention the amount of people downloading Season 2 in the English speaking world, even thought they have no idea about the numbers involved. Channel 4 even pushed the date of season 2 forward to Spring because of downloading, its hitting everyone that relies on foriegn imports. I also have a new theory about Lost that is rock solid, after what I saw in the Black smoke this week. If you want to know the theory, erm.. never mind, i’m probably wrong.


Next up, there is some good news for Arrested Development fans. FOX have scheduled the last 4 episodes of season 3. They are so petty, they have put them on Friday Feb 10th, opposite the opening ceremony of the winter olympics. Hopefully they can cancel the show soon after, allowing Showtime or ABC to pick it up in time for a season 4 in September.

Next up I have a couple of requests for programs, if anyone can find them for me, they would be rewarded greatly (in heaven). First up an Australian comedy called Kath & Kim. I saw 5 minutes and thought “meh”, but thats often the way with comedy these days. I’ve heard its great, and I want to give it another go. But I can’t find it online, or even a region 2 DVD for sale, help? The next one is an Argentinian program called Epitafios. If you know how to get your hands on it, teelll meeeeee.

Back here in the UK, if I see another program that starts with the word celebrity, I will poke my eyes out with rusty spoons. People that slept with TV presenters and filmed it, not celebrities. sons of famous footballers, not celebrities. nightclub owners, people who *went out with* big brother contestants, Nobodies from nowhere these are not celebrities.

But don’t get me wrong ,that isn’t the problem with this sub-genre. Its that the concepts are all the same and generally so threadbare.. person dropped into fish-out-of-water situation, judged by experts, tits/bum out for the tabloids, tearful interview at the end, releases fitness video and autobiography detailing their struggle with fame. Its… bollox. I would definitely watch something like Celebrity firing squad though.


But there is still Life on Mars. For people that didn’t see it or aren’t in the UK, its really good. Just trust me and download it, I can’t be bothered to go into detail after I just linked to the website.

Also in the UK, look out for “The IT crowd”, a comedy starring Chris Morris starting Feb 5th, and “Suburban Shootout”, a cross between Kill Bill and desperate Housewives I’m told. Its a co-production between Paramount and five, and there is a good chance you may see my sublime editing skills for the first time on terrestrial Television. Thats right, I demand a pay rise!

To finish, I’ll leave you with this clip from a Japanese game show. They are all about the humiliation!





Another number one for the Bluth family

8 01 2006

Click here if you so desire. There is a lot of debate here as to whether 2 new episodes that were scheduled and then replaced (with a house repeat) will be on tomorrow night at 8. The Fox website contradicts itself and Tivo and Yahoo are saying House. I sure hope somebody is dedicated enough to check who is right and put it online if it is aired. Anyone?

AD also won the Save One Show Poll over at E! Online.





What a difference a day makes

6 01 2006


Before last night’s “Ricky Gervais meets Larry David” program on Channel 4 here in the UK, I would think Larry David was a virtual unknown in this country, with Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthuisasm both buried in past midnight slots by the BBC on the off chance that someone might find something foreign funny. What with him never having a catchphrase or being seen in heat magazine, they probably thought the UK wouldn’t take to his work. Anyway, I went to buy season 3 of Curb today (because my boss keeps promising to lend it to me but always “leaves it at home”! yeah right, she probably thinks I won’t give it back to her. and now if I ever do it get it from her I won’t! Out of spite!! Grrrr!!) and lo and behold, The first three seasons of Curb your Enthusiasm sit atop the Amazon UK DVD chart, which is updated daily. I haven’t seen advertising that effective since… Kerry Katona told me to get down to Iceland.. or something!





Let me put my Analrapy stocking on…

3 01 2006


Just watched what could well be the last Arrested Development ever on FOX (its being replaced by Skating With Celebrities/ Skating With the Stars, yay!), and it was pure gold from start to finish.

The satire was so on-point, their piss-takes of the desperate tactics TV shows use these days to draw viewers, it was, as always, so cleverly executed. The “3-D”, the “live” show, the “simple, relatable” storyline, one character dies!… people are indeed, idiots. What a perfect way to go out on a crap network.

If there is a funnier line on television this year than that old lady saying “you could charm the black off a telegram boy” and then Ron Howard narrating “I’ll tell you now, she’s the one who dies.”, I can’t wait to hear it. Here is hoping FOX announce its cancellation so Showtime or ABC can pick it up.

For now I will leave you with TV Gal‘s best in show awards AD speech which comes across as a bit of an obituary.

Read the rest of this entry »





Sport sport sport sport sport. Lisa rides in front with me coz shes a good guy at sport.

2 01 2006

Sporting events deliver viewers..

LONDON (Reuters) – The Super Bowl, championship European soccer and Formula One’s Canadian Grand Prix each drew more than 50 million viewers in 2005, proving that top sports programmes are among the few remaining in a fragmenting TV landscape to deliver large global audiences for advertisers.

Ninety-three million people tuned in to watch Super Bowl XXXIX between the New England Patriots and the Philadelphia Eagles, but 98 percent of them were from North America, according to data released on Thursday by media buying and planning firm Initiative.

By comparison, Liverpool’s 3-2 penalty shoot-out victory over AC Milan in the UEFA Champions League Final attracted an average audience of 73 million viewers spread across dozens of countries. The Canadian Grand Prix drew 51 million.

“The reality of which events are most popular are different than most consumers’ perspectives,” said Kevin Alavy, the senior analyst behind the Initiative research, in an interview.

“I would wager that in Europe people would be a little bit surprised that the Super Bowl is number one because it draws its audience from only one market,” he said.

The remaining seven events in the top 10 — which included the men’s 100 metres final in the World Athletics Championships, pro basketball’s NBA Finals, baseball’s World Series and cycling’s Tour de France — all had audiences less than half that of the Grand Prix.

Copied long stock and.. from here.