Primeval S01E01 – Doggy Doo Doo

10 02 2007

Sadly not the episodes title, but my thoughts on this new “multimillion pound, big budget” production from ITV. This is why I don’t watch ITV1. This is why I shouldn’t watch shows with girls from S Club 7 in them, however fit they are. This is why, this is why. The plot revolves around dinosaurs coming through a time portal… yes thats right, much like the one in that program from last Autumn/Summer/Whenever, Prehistoric Park.                     

What is ITV’s deal with time portals and dinosaurs? Has the CGI technology just become cheap enough for them to base whole program concepts around? well stop it now, the effects were crap. Worse than you can possible imagine. I’m talking slightly better than the stop motion of Clash of the Titans.

The acting was just as bad, and the cast was decent so I can only think that it was the strain of acting against bluescreens, or nothing, that made their performances so poor. The script didn’t help. Some of the dialogue was terrible. One of the characters (the supposedly cool one) saying to a dinosaur “Pick on someone your own size” stands out as particularly bad.

The good news? I’m telling you all this so if you didn’t watch it, you know to steer well clear next week. So there. I am about to watch Harry Hill and Charlie Brooker just to ease the pain and erase the memories of this poop show. I won’t be giving it another chance.

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2 responses

28 04 2007
Matt

Any family sci-fi TV series that attempts to start showing when ‘Doctor Who’ is on TV will always face a stiff task. But it’s hardly any wonder that reviewers are constantly complaining about the standard of some TV programmes, if the reviewers are as biased and sarcastic as this one is.
This review seems to dismiss Primeval’s chances without having seen the whole series; an experienced TV journalist would know that this is at best unwise, and at worst blindly ignorant of the way shows evolve and develop).
Let’s not forget that the entire point of family shows like ‘Primeval’ is not to provide a harrowing portrayal of domestic violence, racism or terrorist atrocities. The reviewer would clearly find such violence and bloodshed more thrilling, if he is forced to describe decent family entertainment as “doggy doo doo” (note infantile vocabulary: clearly being able to write anything at all on the internet does not improve writing ability).
Firstly, I will be honest, and say that a five-year-old could write a more honest review than this one (probably with better spelling).
Alternatively, I could recommend that the critic sorts out his private life and leaves the rest of the world in peace. “Me and the TV” really sums it up rather nicely, does it not?
Plus, this is the first time I have ever visited this website. I had expected some honest and constructed reviews. Instead, I find myself reading this travesty of a third-rate TV guide. I will not be visiting this site again, and how many people will?

9 02 2008
Ellie-Kate

people like you just diss brilliant programs coz u have nothing better to do… what do you watch then? powerpuff girls??

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