14 01 2006

Yay! Celebrate the return of my weekly/monthly/whenever I feel like it TV column! I’m not even going to disguise the fact that this is just a scam to allow me to put “internet columnist” on my CV, and go for a job at “zoo” magazine. (I’m lying, I read nuts. I don’t know, I just find it more…. ballsy).

I’m going to start by saying this column will have (gasp) spoilers and I can’t hide them behind invisi-text. So look away now if you don’t want to know who killed Eddie Royle outside the Queen vic!! I’m kidding again, I haven’t watched that crap since 1997.

I’ll start off by pointing out this little article about the worldwide success of Lost, even though it has a few inaccuracies. Its cool that they mention the amount of people downloading Season 2 in the English speaking world, even thought they have no idea about the numbers involved. Channel 4 even pushed the date of season 2 forward to Spring because of downloading, its hitting everyone that relies on foriegn imports. I also have a new theory about Lost that is rock solid, after what I saw in the Black smoke this week. If you want to know the theory, erm.. never mind, i’m probably wrong.

Next up, there is some good news for Arrested Development fans. FOX have scheduled the last 4 episodes of season 3. They are so petty, they have put them on Friday Feb 10th, opposite the opening ceremony of the winter olympics. Hopefully they can cancel the show soon after, allowing Showtime or ABC to pick it up in time for a season 4 in September.

Next up I have a couple of requests for programs, if anyone can find them for me, they would be rewarded greatly (in heaven). First up an Australian comedy called Kath & Kim. I saw 5 minutes and thought “meh”, but thats often the way with comedy these days. I’ve heard its great, and I want to give it another go. But I can’t find it online, or even a region 2 DVD for sale, help? The next one is an Argentinian program called Epitafios. If you know how to get your hands on it, teelll meeeeee.

Back here in the UK, if I see another program that starts with the word celebrity, I will poke my eyes out with rusty spoons. People that slept with TV presenters and filmed it, not celebrities. sons of famous footballers, not celebrities. nightclub owners, people who *went out with* big brother contestants, Nobodies from nowhere these are not celebrities.

But don’t get me wrong ,that isn’t the problem with this sub-genre. Its that the concepts are all the same and generally so threadbare.. person dropped into fish-out-of-water situation, judged by experts, tits/bum out for the tabloids, tearful interview at the end, releases fitness video and autobiography detailing their struggle with fame. Its… bollox. I would definitely watch something like Celebrity firing squad though.

But there is still Life on Mars. For people that didn’t see it or aren’t in the UK, its really good. Just trust me and download it, I can’t be bothered to go into detail after I just linked to the website.

Also in the UK, look out for “The IT crowd”, a comedy starring Chris Morris starting Feb 5th, and “Suburban Shootout”, a cross between Kill Bill and desperate Housewives I’m told. Its a co-production between Paramount and five, and there is a good chance you may see my sublime editing skills for the first time on terrestrial Television. Thats right, I demand a pay rise!

To finish, I’ll leave you with this clip from a Japanese game show. They are all about the humiliation!